The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
by Lady Aurelia Crawley
Summary: Elsie discovers that she is pregnant after being attacked, but she decides to try to raise the baby on her own. How can she cope in a world where she is seen as sinful? And will she let Charlie help her and perhaps even allow herself to fall in love?
1. Chapter 1

**So this story is based loosely on my Elsie/Ella series, but it explores what would have happened if Elsie hadn't given Ella up to Cora and Robert and how different their lives would have been. Hope you enjoy =)**

Elsie prised her eyes open and tried to blink a few times to clear the fog of unconsciousness, but the searing pain from her head made her wish she hadn't woken. As she became more familiar with her surroundings, she heard some movement above her and realised that Richard Crawley was still in the room with her, straightening his clothes and redressing himself, making himself look like the respectable gentleman that she knew he wasn't.

She tried not to move, tried not to draw attention to herself and the fact that she was awake again, but her body was throbbing from his treatment of her, harsh and brutal. The hard floor made her already sore back worse and she shed a few silent tears, which fell down the side of her face and onto the carpet.

As Richard left the room, she breathed a sigh of relief and allowed herself to sob, but she tried to keep herself as quite as possible, as she sat up shakily, but she froze in horror when she heard a voice outside the room.

'Mr Crawley, his Lordship asked me to look for you as he was concerned that you might have forgotten that dinner was to be ready for eight o'clock.' Charlie said as he met with Richard on the gallery.

'Thank you Mr Carson; I realise that I am rather late, but I had some business to attend to and I was rather delayed.' Richard replied.

Elsie waited until she was certain that both Richard Crawley and Mr Carson were well away from her, before she dragged herself up onto the edge of the bed, where she finally released a couple of desperate, choked sobs of pain and complete anguish.

She clutched at herself and felt sick with repulsion as she tried to straighten her dress, which was ripped from where he had violently pulled at her. She was disgusted with herself; how could she have let this happen? She felt dirty and used.

Not caring about the rest of her work, her Ladyship's dress laid abandoned on the floor, the one Elsie had been holding at the time she had fallen, as she stumbled to her feet and then limped out of the room. The very dim glow from the candles on the wall cast eerie shadows, which frightened Elsie even more. She wasn't normally afraid of the dark, but nothing was ever going to be the same for her now. She hastily grabbed an oil lamp from the side table, and shone the slim light around her, only proceeding once she was certain that she was alone; but as she walked towards the servants' door, she nearly died of fright at the sound of a deep, rumbling voice behind her.

'Miss Hughes what are you still doing up here? Mrs Niven served the servant's tea almost an hour ago.' Charlie said as he approached her, but gasped in shock when he saw her sobbing, dishevelled state. 'What's happened? Who's done this to you?' He demanded angrily.

'Nothing has happened; I fell and banged my head, knocked myself unconscious and that's it.' Elsie replied quickly, but she knew that it was a feeble explanation.

'I need you to tell me what exactly has happened and who was that has done this to you.' He repeated with a much calmer tone as he brushed a loose hair from her face, but he backed away from her a little when she flinched at his touch.

'I can't tell you that Mr Carson; you wouldn't believe me if I did and I will lose my job if the family find out.' She said as she tried not to sound hysterical, but at her words, Charlie suddenly put two and two together as it dawned on him why Mr Crawley had been late.

'Was it Richard Crawley who did this to you?'

Elsie couldn't reply and her silence was answer enough for Charlie.

'You've got to tell someone, Mrs Pembroke at least, Miss Hughes.' He whispered.

'No, I can't tell anyone and I will not discuss this further, with you or with anyone else. Do you understand Mr Carson? No one must find out about this.' She said angrily. 'Now, I'm going up to my room and I will not be coming down again tonight. Please tell her Ladyship that I've been taken ill.' She added as she quickly left the poor man standing in her wake and she was totally unaware that he heard her sobs as she ran all the way upstairs.

He felt his heart breaking at the thought that someone had hurt her, the woman that he was secretly in love with and now all he wanted to do was help her, to protect her in a way that he hadn't protected her to avoid her attack and he knew exactly what to do.

He walked downstairs and back into the dining room where Richard sat with the family and guests, drinking wine, laughing and joking, as if nothing had happened. Charlie picked up the decanter of wine and began to top up the glasses of the people in front of him, but when he arrived at Richard's empty glass, Charlie "accidently" spilt it on him.

'Oh I am so sorry Milord, please forgive me.' He said as he feigned his sorrow and handed the decanter to one of the footmen as he tried to help Richard.

'That's quite alright Mr Carson, I'm certain it was my mistake; I moved as you were pouring.' Richard said as he tried to brush it off. 'I'll just nip up stairs and change.' He added as he stood up.

'Please, allow me to assist you.' Charlie said as he followed Richard out of the dining room and waited until they were alone together upstairs.

As they entered Richard's bedroom, Charlie suddenly grabbed him by the arm and twisted it up his back, then pushed him into the wall opposite them, which was met by Richard's protests.

'I will have you for this! I will have your job!' He shouted as he huffed and struggled against Charlie's restraint; but unlike Elsie, he was a lot stronger than Richard Crawley.

'You can have it as far as I'm concerned, but let me warn you first, that if you EVER touch Elsie again, I will tell Lord Grantham what you did tonight. I know what you did, I know the monster that you are and you repulse me. Just because you are a Lord, does not mean that you can attack a defenceless woman!' Charlie snarled.

'Who would believe anything she or you say over me?' Richard retorted as Charlie slammed him into the wall again as he struggled.

'I believe her! And I will make sure that everyone else does too if you don't leave this house tomorrow!' Charlie said.

'And why would I do that when I haven't done anything wrong? Alright I should never have let her seduce me like that; I hope she's not after money…'

'No, don't you dare try to make out that she's in any way to blame for your actions. You attacked her and if you want to leave here under the power of your own legs, I strongly suggest that you keep those sorts of tales to yourself!'

Whilst Charlie was downstairs defending Elsie's honour, to which she was completely oblivious, she was sat in the bath, desperately scrubbing at her skin. She was badly bruised and marked from the attack and her body still ached as she tried to submerse herself in the water. She was red raw, but she continued to scratch the brush against her, but she felt dirty just the same.

She laid back against the side of the bath and cried, a few tears at first, but she soon allowed herself to cry uncontrollably and she couldn't stop herself once she had started. What was she going to do? Could she bear to work and live in the house again? Well she had no choice but to continue working there, as her family back home were depending on her; but it didn't make her feel any better. She had a lot of healing to do and she wasn't exactly sure where to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning dawned gloomily; a wet, grey, miserable day that mirrored how Elsie felt. She wanted the world to swallow her up. She'd hardly slept at all and had paced around her room most of the night. She was still so very sore from his brutal attack on her and her senses felt heightened. She could still smell him on her, still hear the sounds he made in her ear, still feel him on her. As the scenes flashed before her again, she felt the overwhelming urge to vomit and not for the first time that night.

She quickly grabbed the basin in the corner of her room and retched several times, but having eaten nothing since lunch the day before and having been sick several times already, there was nothing left to come up, which hurt her stomach even more, her throat too.

Slumping onto the chair beside the basin, she began to cry again and had no idea how to try to cope with what had happened. She knew that she'd have to face her colleagues soon and worse than that, she'd have to go back into that room to deal with Cora; but she certainly wasn't in any state to see anyone at present.

Her normally neat, well-kept hair was is a wild state of disarray and her head still ached from where she had collided with the wall. Her eyes were practically bloodshot and puffy from her tears. Her complexion was usually peely-wally, but this time she was completely colourless, apart from the dark circles under eyes from lack of sleep, but one was turning a much darker colour, where the bruising was developing. And speaking of bruising, she was black and blue all over her back as a result of her fall to the floor and her thighs were covered too, with bruises and deep, crimson scratches.

As she examined herself thoroughly, she felt a fresh flow of repulsion grow within her; before she knew what she was doing, she had picked up her brush from the side and threw it at the mirror, which smashed into thousands of tiny little pieces. It didn't make her feel any better though, as now she had to clean the mess up, which was the last thing she felt like doing.

Eventually she had managed to dress herself, but it had taken a lot of her strength to do so and then she started on her hair. Her scalp burned as she ran her brush through it, as she tried to peer through the broken remnants of her mirror. She pinned it loosely into place so that it was tidy, but didn't press against her sores. Next she tried to do something about her face.

She didn't usually wear makeup, she didn't believe it had a place at work, but she tried to hide her blackened eye the best that she could. She winced every time she pressed the sponge to her face, but she tried to get as much coverage as she could, without making it look obvious that she was wearing makeup.

She was late down to breakfast, which received a very disapproving glare from Mrs Pembroke, as Elsie took her seat beside Charlie, who was watching her with intense worry. Few of the other staff even bothered to look up from their porridge, but he had spotted the slight limp when she walked and the fragile way she moved when she sat. She was trying to hide it all though, trying to shield herself from what had happened and pretend as if everything was normal.

She ignored Charlie's gaze at her, which she knew would be judgemental and accusing, but she couldn't have been any further from the truth. He knew that she wasn't to blame and he could see how much mental and physical pain she was in and he didn't know how to help her. He just wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, but he knew that it wouldn't be appropriate.

She sat perfectly still for several minutes without making a move towards any of the food, just the smell of it made her feel sick and, if it was possible, she turned even paler. She could feel her eyes prickling with tears, but she needed to be strong, she couldn't let on to anyone what had happened to her; nobody else would understand that she had done nothing wrong and she needed to keep reminding herself of that.

'Miss Hughes, breakfast is almost over; if you want to eat I suggest you do it now. Her Ladyship will be awake soon and she will expect her breakfast on time,' Mrs Pembroke said sharply. 'And fix yourself up, you look awful; hardly becoming of a Lady's Maid of this house!' She barked as she then marched out of the servants' hall.

Mrs Pembroke's harshness barely affected her, since she was already going through something worse than anything her words could do to her, but she still felt Charlie's eyes on her. As the other servants began to leave, one by one out of the room, he finally moved closer to her and whispered, 'you really need to eat something Miss Hughes. Can I get you a slice of toast perhaps?'

'I'm fine, Mr Carson, but I don't want to eat,' she replied, much sharper than she had intended, but he understood and it didn't deter him.

'Should you really been down? Wouldn't you rather be resting?'

'I don't want to be on my own Mr Carson, I need to be working, to keep my mind off…' but she trailed off, having said far more than she had intended to and for the first time that morning she turned her head and looked him in the eye. She didn't see what she had expected.

Instead of seeing a judgemental, cold and unfeeling look, she saw hurt and worry and if she had looked really hard, she would have seen the hint of anger that had consumed him the previous night, as well as exhaustion. He hadn't slept a wink of sleep either.

'You need to tell Mrs Pembroke; I understand that you can't talk about it with me, but you need to tell someone,' he said softly.

'I can't tell anyone Mr Carson, least of all that old bag; she wouldn't believe me…she wouldn't believe that it wasn't my fault,' she whispered tearfully.

He was about to reply when Lady Grantham rang her bell and the spell between he and Elsie was broken. She shot up from her seat, wincing a little as she moved, and left the room, muttering something about getting back to work. He cursed himself for not being able to offer her more support or even to know where to begin helping her and he could do nothing else but think about her.

Elsie, on the other hand, was trying to do everything in her power to forget about the previous night, to forget about the pain she was in, mental and physical, and to control the repulsion she felt for herself, as she stood in Cora's bedroom, brushing her Ladyship's hair. She was quiet, not in her usual calm and reserved way and it was very apparent to Cora that Elsie was rather preoccupied.

'Are you feeling quite yourself Miss Hughes? Have you recovered from last night?' She asked and was astounded to see such a look of fear cross Elsie's face.

'Whatever do you mean Milady?'

'Have you recovered from your illness?'

'Oh, of course, I'm sorry Milady; I'm considerably better than I was, thank you,' she lied, but she still looked as if she was going to pass out at any second, which did concern Cora, but since Elsie denied feeling unwell, she didn't push the subject further.

'Will that be all Milady?' Elsie asked.

'Thank you Hughes, that will be all,' Cora replied as she dismissed her maid and allowed Elsie to continue with her work.

As soon as she was permitted to, Elsie left the bedroom as quickly as she could, with garments thrown over her arm, ready to be cleaned and pressed. She made her way from the gallery as quickly as she could, fearful, that, at any second, she might run into Richard Crawley. When she made it into the relative sanctuary of the laundry room, she breathed a sigh of relief and was glad f the opportunity to feel alone.

She began to scrub at a stain on one of her Ladyship's dresses, dunking it a few times into some lukewarm water and rubbing it against the washing board, but it wasn't too long before her mind began to drift and her scrubbing was soon none existent. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door open, or even see Charlie as he entered.

'Are you quite alright Miss Hughes?' He asked cautiously, afraid of startling her, but his words barely registered with her as she slowly turned to face him, the bar of soap slipping from her hand and sinking into the water. She began to sob violently and her reaction, in fact, startled him. He wanted to comfort her, but didn't want to act in appropriately. However, his compassionate side overruled his head and he gently wrapped his arms around her.

'I'm sorry Mr Carson, what must you think of me? I won't let it happen again,' she said as she tried to compose herself.

'You don't need to apologise,' he said softly as she pulled away from him and he quickly stepped back from her, their stance returning to their more familiar, professional demeanour.

'What was it that you wanted?' She asked, trying to ignore her sudden outburst and conceal her shame and torment once more.

'Only to check on your welfare and to tell you that he has gone,' Charlie replied quietly, barely able to keep eye contact with her, afraid of seeing her pain and sadness for himself.

'Who has?'

'Richard Crawley; he left on the nine o'clock train this morning and he shan't be back again anytime soon,' he replied sternly as he looked at her.

'You said something, didn't you? After I specifically told you not to, you went ahead and disobeyed my request!' Elsie spat angrily, afraid that her secret still might come out.

'Yes I said something to him and I would have done a lot more than that had it not been for your request,' he replied calmly, he didn't want to distress her any further than he already was. 'I still believe that you tell Mrs Pembroke,' but the words were barely out of his mouth when she started to cry once again.

'I cannot and will not tell anyone and that is the last I will speak of it,' she said with determination, before pushing passed him.

She spent the rest of the day busier than ever, avoiding Charlie and most of the other servants; she barely ate, barely rested and barely said another word to anyone else. Her body was in agony by the end of the day and she could barely move, but her physical pain was nothing in comparison to her emotional pain.


	3. Chapter 3

Two months after those distressing events, Elsie was still trying to come to terms with what had happened to her, but she was a lot stronger now than she had been. It had taken her a long time before she could comfortably sit in the servants' hall and join in the everyday conversation; but now she could do so, although she did still seem rather standoffish, especially with the younger footmen and definitely around Charlie. She would barely speak to him and had yet to look him in the eye on the rare occasion that she did speak to him and he just wished that he could get through to her.

No one above or below stairs knew about the attack and as far as Elsie was concerned, that was the end of the matter. She worked hard to conceal what she believed to be her shame, but that was soon to become almost impossible.

Over a period of a few days, she began to feel very tired, Charlie had noticed her normally pale complexion was even paler, but she continued to insist that nothing was wrong as she busied herself more with tasks that didn't really need to be done.

'I'm fine Mr Carson, really; an early night will see me right as rain,' she said as they walked along the gallery together and her tone conveyed her annoyance at the fact that this was not the first time they had had this conversation.

She knew that she had been over working herself. Where possible she took on extra duties to keep herself busy, but she would always go about her tasks in Cora's bedroom as quickly as possible. Some days she found it harder than others, to move on from that night; but it still held so much horror for her, that she wondered if anything would ever happen to make her forget it.

'Well be warned Miss Hughes, Mrs Pembroke is on the war path since Mrs Niven handed in her notice; the new cook arrives today and you know what Mrs Pembroke is like. She wants everything to be just so for the dinner tomorrow night,' Charlie said.

'Well I best keep out of her way hadn't I?' Elsie replied with a flicker of a smile, as she then disappeared through the green door with a couple of dresses to repair.

As she entered onto the staircase, she heard Mrs Pembroke's shouts snaking their way up the staircase. It seemed that one of the maids had broken a serving dish and Mrs Pembroke was absolutely livid, so Elsie changed her course of direction and made her way to her bedroom; she wasn't in the mood to enter a war with that old battle-axe.

When she made it into her bedroom she breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind her. She sat in her rocking chair and took out her sewing box, carefully threading the needle with the dark coloured thread. For the first few minutes she felt absolutely fine, as she listened to the careful, rhythmic tick-tock of the clock on her mantelpiece, but her concentration started to wane as her stomach gave a small lurch, which made her feel quite light headed for a few moments. She blinked a few times and then went back to her sewing, concentrating more and ensuring that each stitch was neat and straight. Another lurch of her stomach though, soon had her running for her basin on the other side of the room.

She felt light headed as she clutched the sides of the bowl and felt shocked at how white her complexion was as she glanced at her reflection in her new mirror. Her knees felt weak, but the sensation began to pass a little as she staggered her way back to her chair. What on earth had come over her? _It must be that stomach bug going around_ , she thought, as both Miss Mary and Miss Edith had been ill just last week; perhaps she'd gotten it from them.

It took her a little longer than usual to complete her sewing task, as her sickness felt to grow worse and then subside again. She took them back down to Cora's bedroom and hung them up, ready to be worn that evening and then made her way down into the servants' hall where she sought out Charlie.

'Mr Carson, there you are,' she said as she approached him.

'Miss Hughes, what can I do for you?' He replied kindly, delighted that she was the one to instigate the conversation.

'I'm not feeling myself I'm afraid; I fear I may have caught that stomach illness the bairns had last week. I'm going to go and lie down for a few hours before the gong, but will you come and wake me when I'm needed?' She asked, still not quite meeting his gaze.

'Of course Miss Hughes; is there anything you would like me to get you?'

'No, no Mr Carson, but thank you; I think I'll start to feel better once I've rested,' she then made her way out of the room and back upstairs to her own.

The rest seemed to do her some good, as after a couple of hours sleep, she felt herself again and pushed the incident to the back of her mind. Perhaps it was just one of those things? But, over the next few days the feeling kept coming and going, which was making her tired and irritable; then one morning she could barely stand to put on her corset, as the discomfort she felt across her chest was almost unbearable.

As she continued to struggle to get her corset on, she happened to glance at her reflection in the mirror and noticed that her usually flat stomach was starting to look a little less flat. She'd noticed a couple of days ago that her evening uniform was feeling a little tighter around the middle as well, and suddenly she found herself sinking down onto her bed. She couldn't possibly be with child, not after that; surly it took more than once for it to happen. God wouldn't be cruel enough to allow a child to be brought into the world after that, would he?

No, she couldn't be expecting, she was being silly.

She gritted her teeth against the pain and focussed on ignoring it and pulled on her dress, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that it was straining at the seams around her usually slender waist. She continued to do this for another month at least, trying to pretend that everything was alright in her life again, but when she realised that she hadn't bled since it had happened, all the signs were beginning to become harder to ignore.

She laid on her bed late one night, everyone else had fallen asleep long ago and she contemplated her issue. She still didn't want to acknowledge her predicament. If she was pregnant, what if she couldn't love her baby? What if the attack tainted even that for her? She'd always dreamed of starting a family and loved children greatly, but what if she couldn't bring herself to love the little child that might be growing inside her now?

Had she stopped long enough to think properly, she would have realised that she was already feeling maternal protection towards her unborn baby, with the mere fact that she was afraid to bring a child into the world that she couldn't love, but the realisation of this didn't come until it was almost too late.

By now, it was almost three and a half months since her attack and everything within Downton seemed normal again. No one was aware of her attack still and even Mr Carson seemed to be less concerned about the past, which was exactly as she wanted it.

'Miss Hughes her Ladyship requires you at once,' Mrs Pembroke barked one morning as she marched sternly into the servants' hall at breakfast; her stare left Elsie under no illusions that it wasn't a request and that "at once" practically meant yesterday. Honestly, since her Ladyship became pregnant with her third child, Elsie was rushed off her feet more than ever, which at least kept her mind off her own predicament. However, all the running around she was doing wasn't good for her, especially since she was over compensating to try to prove she wasn't pregnant.

'Good morning Milady, did you sleep well?' Elsie asked as she walked into Cora's bedroom with her breakfast tray.

'Yes, thank you Miss Hughes,' Cora replied sleepily.

'I've only brought up some toast and a hardboiled egg for you this morning Milady, since I realise that you are feeling a little fragile at the moment,' Elsie said as she put the tray down over Cora's knee.

'That was thoughtful of you Miss Hughes; I confess I have rather lost my appetite lately, but it'll be worth it in the end, won't it?'

'I'm sure it will Milady.' Elsie felt guilty as she looked at the happy smile on Cora's face. She felt so afraid that she could never feel that way about her own baby; what if she brought the child into the world and couldn't love it? She couldn't do that to any child, it deserved a mother who loved it and adored it, but what if she didn't fall in love with it?

She gathered up Cora's clothes, some towels and a couple of sheets, quite a large pile to carry, but she managed to get them through the green door and was about to descend down the stone stairs when Charlie appeared behind her.

'How is her Ladyship this morning?' He asked her casually, trying to find an excuse to strike up a conversation with her, but as she turned to reply to him, she lost her footing.

Her foot slipped down the front of the stone step and she could do nothing to stop herself and Charlie could do nothing but watch in horror. She fell head first down the stairs, smashing her knees and then she rolled down the rest of the way, coming to a stop on the short landing between the two flights of stairs. She had banged her head on the way down and felt dazed, so she wasn't even aware of what really happened next.

She must have lost consciousness though, because the next thing she remembered was waking up in her bedroom, with Mrs Pembroke beside her and Charlie standing at the foot of her bed.


	4. Chapter 4

'We've sent for the doctor Miss Hughes,' Mrs Pembroke said tersely, as Elsie tried to sit up in her bed.

'Don't try to get up Miss Hughes, you've had a nasty accident,' Charlie said with anxious concern as he watched his dearest friend. He wished that he could do something to help her and to spare her the pain she was in; she'd already had enough of that already.

As she moved she felt a sharp pain across her stomach and she visibly winced in pain, but once she'd felt it once, she felt it again shortly after, until her stomach felt to be throbbing. She had an idea what might be happening and was glad to see the arrival of Doctor Clarkson.

'Might I ask you to give us some privacy whilst I examine Miss Hughes Mr Carson,' he said as he turned to Charlie, who looked terrified about leaving her alone. 'Can you tell me where you feel the most pain?'

'My stomach Doctor Clarkson; I've been feeling cramp like pain on and off for the last half hour or so.' She watched as he placed his hands over her bruised stomach and winced in pain as he examined her. As he did so, he happened to glance at her and they gave each other a knowing look.

She laid in fretful thought as she watched him and felt tears spring to her eyes; not because of the pain, although that didn't help, but out of fear that she might lose her baby. Suddenly it hit her. All the worry she had felt during the last few weeks that she might not love her baby, were proven to be untrue. Now she felt nothing but intense love for her baby and protectiveness; but was it all too late? Maybe this was God's punishment to her for not being virtuous, or maybe because she had come to realise too late that she loved her baby, now that one greatest love in her life was to be taken from her.

'I've lost it, haven't I Doctor?' She asked in a whisper, not caring whether or not Mrs Pembroke heard or understood her meaning. All she cared about right at this second, was her unborn baby.

'I shan't be coy and pretend I don't know what you mean Miss Hughes. Do you know how far along you are?'

'Three months,' she whispered even quieter than before, barely able to make eye contact with him. She then winced in great pain again, which almost took her breath away. She panted heavily as she breathed through the pain and Doctor Clarkson took the opportunity to examine her properly.

'You're bleeding,' he explained to her after a few moments.

'So I am losing the baby then.'

'Not necessarily; the bleed appears to only be small at the moment, but you will need to rest. You've also cracked a couple of your ribs. You've been lucky enough not to break any other bones, but you have sprained your wrist quite badly,' he explained.

Elsie listened in a daze to everything that Doctor Clarkson said, but she didn't really take any of it in. All she kept thinking was about her baby. She now felt a new feeling, a sense of hope that she hadn't felt previously and she just kept praying that her baby would live.

'I'll be back in the morning Mrs Pembroke to see how she is recovering, but she is to be on bed rest for the next week at least and certainly will not be returning to work for a few weeks after.'

Doctor Clarkson then left a pale and anxious looking Elsie to rest, but as soon as he closed the door on the two women, Mrs Pembroke launched a vile onslaught on Elsie, that certainly did nothing to help her or her situation.

'You disgust me!' She said quietly. 'I never have liked you Miss Hughes, but I at least expected better from you. This is the sort of thing that I expect from the younger maids, but not from someone like you,' she said as her voice began to grow louder. 'You have disgraced this house and the family; you are dismissed with immediate effect without further pay or character!' Her shouts had summoned Charlie to Elsie's side, who looked shocked and astounded that Mrs Pembroke was raising her voice to Elsie after her shock.

'What on earth is going on Mrs Pembroke?!' He demanded.

'I suppose you are the other party in this mess? I shall be informing Mr Reynolds of your conduct Mr Carson…'

'It isn't him and you have no right to bring him into it,' Elsie said as she mustered up the courage to defend him.

'Mrs Pembroke I do not quite understand what is going on, but I do not think it appropriate at this time. Miss Hughes has received a shock and nasty injuries…'

'I will not tolerate this; you have both brought shame on this house and you must now face the consequences of your actions,' she said as she finally stormed out, leaving Elsie reeling and upset and Charlie looking at her with utter bewilderment.

'What was that about?' He asked softly as Elsie rested her head against her pillow. It seemed silly not to tell him now.

'I'm with child, Mr Carson, well I was, or might be; the fall has possibly caused me to lose the baby, although Doctor Clarkson seemed hopeful that that might not be the case,' she explained softly and watched as he sank with shock into the chair next to her.

'I see.'

'Now I've shocked and embarrassed you,' she replied apologetically.

'No, you haven't shocked or embarrassed me and I don't want you to be either; it's just that, well, after what happened, I hadn't considered this outcome,' he explained, choosing his words carefully, unable to meet her gaze.

'Mrs Pembroke has dismissed me; but if I'm honest, I don't care. I just need to know that my baby is alright. I never realised that it was possible to love someone as much as this until now, but I'm afraid that I've realised it too late,' she explained tearfully, but calmed slightly when Mr Carson touched her hand and made a gentle shushing sound.

'Don't upset yourself; you don't want to add more stress to your situation Miss Hughes,' he said softly and was surprised to find that she clasped his hand tightly in her own. She was relieved that he was so understanding and non-judgmental, but then, the sudden realisation that she'd inadvertently ruined his career too hit her hard.

'You shouldn't be here Mr Carson; they'll soon find out about me, I'm passed hope, but it's not too late for you. You have done nothing and I will make sure that Mrs Pembroke and Mr Reynolds, know that, the family too if it comes to it.'

'You let me worry about that.'

'No, I shan't, Mr Carson. I want you to go and find Mr Reynolds now and tell him that you had nothing to do with this, before that old bag has any time to do it.'

'But I don't want to leave you…'

'Just go, please Mr Carson. I need my rest and you need your job. So please, just do as I ask of you.' Elsie sounded so strong and adamant in her words that, reluctantly, Charlie did stand and walk towards the door with every intention to do as she asked, but with the added intention of fighting her corner too.


	5. Chapter 5

Mrs Pembroke stood in Cora's bedroom with a disgusted look of her face. She wrangled her hands together as she found the words to tell her Ladyship what had just transpired.

'I'm afraid Milady that we will have to dismiss Miss Hughes with immediate effect,' she said.

'But why Mrs Pembroke?' Cora asked with astonishment.

'I'm sorry to have to tell you this Milady, but she has disgraced this family and has brought the house of Grantham into disrepute,' Mrs Pembroke explained, choosing her words carefully.

'Mrs Pembroke, if you expect me to accept the sacking of my lady's maid, then I must know exactly what it is that she has done,' Cora replied sternly, not in the mood for playing games with the housekeeper.

'Very well Milady; there was an incident today, Miss Hughes had an accident on the stairs and the doctor had to be called. Whilst he was examining her she revealed to him that she is…'

'Yes, Mrs Pembroke?'

'Well that she is…with child…' Mrs Pembroke mouthed the last part of the sentence and her voice was merely a whisper.

'Oh my,' Cora said. She hadn't been expecting that.

Whilst Mrs Pembroke was upstairs talking to Cora, Charlie had taken the opportunity to speak to Mr Reynolds. He hoped that he could appeal to him to change Mrs Pembroke's mind; although how he was going to do that without breaking Elsie's confidence, he wasn't sure, but he was going to give it a damn good try.

'Mr Reynolds, might I have a word please?' He asked as he knocked on the door of the butler's pantry.

'Make it quick Mr Carson, I haven't got all day,' he said.

Elsie was laid in bed, aware of the probable conversations going on around her, but not caring a jot. She placed her hand over her stomach, which was still tender and agonisingly sore, and prayed with all her heart that her baby would be alright.

'I realise that I haven't been greatful for the gift you gave me Lord, but I realise now that I can love my baby and it will have a wonderful home and loving mother, just please don't let me lose it now,' she whispered as a tear streaked down her face as another pang of pain pierced her stomach. They'd been happening on and off since Doctor Clarkson had left her, but they seemed to be less powerful and less frequent than they had been before.

She was just about to settle down and drift off to sleep, when there was a gentle tap on the door to her bedroom. She looked up with confusion as she invited the person in and was even more shocked to see Cora walking in, closely followed by a smug looking Mrs Pembroke.

'Thank you Mrs Pembroke, but that will be all for now; I would like to speak with Miss Hughes on my own,' she said as she dismissed the housekeeper, who now looked as if Christmas had been cancelled. She waited for the housekeeper to leave before she spoke again, to a rather fearful looking Elsie. 'Mrs Pembroke has informed me of your condition Miss Hughes; whilst I am very shocked, I cannot believe the version of events that she has given me.'

'I am sorry Milady; whilst I appreciate that my situation must have come as a shock to you, I can assure you that Mr Carson has nothing to do with it. He is a sweet and very dear man, but he and I have never been together,' Elsie defended.

'So who is the father of your baby Miss Hughes.'

'I'm afraid I cannot tell you that Milady…'

'Miss Hughes, I do not want to see you lose your position here; you are a very good lady's maid and I cannot believe that there is not more to this story. So, if you want my help to keep you and your baby safe, then I strongly suggest that you tell me the whole truth,' Cora said forcefully, but not unkindly.

Elsie sighed, 'very well Milady,' she said. 'Three months ago, I was attacked by one of the guests staying here for the shooting party. He had been, shall we say, intimate with several of the other maids during the course of his stay, but, for some reason, he deliberately sought me out,' she explained calmly, but tearfully.

'Do you know the name of this guest?'

'I do Milady, but I wish not to share it. He is a prominent figure and I fear you will not believe me if I were to tell you,' Elsie replied with a lump in her throat.

'Was it Lord Grantham's brother?' Cora asked out of the blue and the look of fear in Elsie's eyes at the mere mention of his name was all the answer she needed. 'I saw him with you a few times, the way he was with you and I saw you dismiss him; I never thought he would have done this though,' she said with complete shock, but deep down, she wasn't surprised.

'Please Milady, believe me when I say I did nothing to encourage him and I did try to defend myself against him when it happened, he was just too strong for me,' Elsie replied fearfully.

'I do believe you Miss Hughes, I do; but I do not quite understand what this has to do with Mr Carson.'

'Nothing directly Milady, except for the fact that he is a very dear man who has done nothing but try to help me. After it happened he saw me in the corridor and guessed what had happened; he's been trying to persuade me to tell yourself and Lord Grantham about the attack, but I have always refused to do so. Then, today, when I told Doctor Clarkson that I am with child, Mrs Pembroke put two and two together and came up with five. I do not want him to be besmirched with this Milady,' Elsie explained bravely.

You shall not be removed from this house either, I shall inform Mrs Pembroke that I am overriding her authority; you are to stay Miss Hughes and I will discuss the situation with Lord Grantham,' Cora explained.

'That's awfully nice of you Milady, but I don't want to bring this to anyone else's attention. Providing God is good to me and I don't lose my baby, I will have to find a way for us to live without scandal, therefore, the less people that know about my situation, the better.'

'Miss Hughes, there might be something that Lord Grantham and I can do to help you, so you let me worry about what will happen next and you just rest.' Cora then stood up and walked out of the room with a brief smile to her maid, who felt shocked and astounded at what had just happened. She genuinely didn't care what happened to her now though, all she cared about was her baby and getting better for it and Mr Carson too; the last thing that she wanted was for him to lose his job.

Over the next few days Elsie heard nothing more about her future at Downton Abbey; Mrs Pembroke would take up her meals to her, with little or no conversation and the only correspondence she had from Cora, was a note telling her that Mr Carson's job had been secured. He of course was not permitted anywhere near her and with Mrs Pembroke watching them both eagle eyed, he was unable to get a message to her.

Elsie tried not to focus on the possible outcome of her situation, but instead concentrated on feeling better. Her bleeding had stopped, thankfully, and seemed to have only been small. Although she couldn't have been certain for several weeks that she hadn't lost her baby, Doctor Clarkson had seemed positive about the outcome, and confirmed that she was still pregnant when the time arrived several weeks after her fall.

Although he had not permitted her to go back to work, and she was still uncertain about the security of her job, she was allowed to move more freely; then one day she received a visit from Mrs Pembroke, who had a stern, yet satisfied, look on her face.

'You've been summoned to the library Miss Hughes by Lord and Lady Grantham; you've to go at once. I suspect his Lordship has made Lady Grantham see sense and I doubt that your days here are plenty,' she gloated.

So Elsie followed her downstairs into the library, where Cora and Robert were sat waiting for her. By now both she and Cora had matching, little bumps, which were hidden well under their clothing; but, be that as it may, Elsie still placed a protective hand over her baby as she stood nervously in front of her employers.

'Thank you Mrs Pembroke, you may go now,' Robert said as he dismissed the presence of the housekeeper.

The housekeeper walked out of the room and nothing was said until Robert was certain that she was out of earshot. He and Cora had done nothing but discuss what they were going to do about Miss Hughes's situation, a situation caused by his brother, a situation caused by his brother that could cause a scandal; he couldn't allow for this to get out. He also couldn't allow for Cora to be made any more upset than she had been already. She had been very emotional since she had discovered her maid's secret and had made Robert swear to help Elsie out.

'Miss Hughes, I shan't beat about the bush; Lady Grantham has told me of your predicament and she has informed me of the perpetrator of the crime. I am sorry for what Mr Crawley has obviously put you through, but I can assure you that I do intend to help you.'

'That's very good of you Milord,' Elsie replied timidly.

'Lord Grantham and I have been discussing what we can do to help you Miss Hughes and we think we have come up with the solution.'

Whilst Elsie was in the library listening to what the Grantham's had in mind for her and her child, Mrs Pembroke was taking great pleasure in goading Charlie, who happened to be walking through the great hall with the afternoon post.

'It looks like Lord Grantham has come to his senses after all Mr Carson and I daresay you will be next, once he's finished with her of course,' she said snidely.

'Excuse me Mrs Pembroke, but I haven't the slightest clue as to what you are referring to,' he replied cautiously; he was aware she was goading him.

'Miss Hughes has been summoned before his Lordship; he didn't seem to happy when I left them…' but before she could finish her sentence, he thrust the letters into her hand and rushed for the library door.

Elsie was still standing, rooted to the spot after hearing what Lord and Lady Grantham were suggesting. Her voice stuck in her throat slightly as she said, 'you want to take my child from me?'

'We are offering your baby a home Miss Hughes, to be brought up as the son or daughter of the Earl of Grantham; it will have a good education and moral standing instead of the alternative,'

'Which is?'

'To be raised as the illegitimate child of a servant. I am not a harsh man Miss Hughes, I realise that what Mr Crawley has put you through was hell; let me at least take away some of that burden from you, by giving the baby a home…' Robert's words were suddenly cut short though by the arrival of Charlie, who looked ready to swing for someone if necessary and the distraction gave Elsie the chance to think. 'Carson, what is the meaning of this?'

'I'm sorry Milord, but I cannot allow you to sack Miss Hughes. She has suffered enough and I will not allow her to suffer anymore,' Charlie replied calmly, if not a little out of breath.

'Carson, I do not intend on adding to Miss Hughes's suffering, however, we have to consider what is right for everyone involved,' Robert explained calmly.

'What is it that you intend to do Milord, if you do not wish to dismiss Miss Hughes?'

'To be quite frank Carson, I do not see what concern it is of yours.'

'I do not mean to be impertinent Milord, but I have invested a great deal in the welfare of Miss Hughes in the last few months and I do not want to see her hurt again.'

'But if we go on with things as the way they are, she will be hurt a great deal and so will the child. It is much better all-round if we raise the child as our own, that way the…'

Elsie was now only half listening to the conversation going on before her and didn't even notice when her knees began to weaken; she didn't even feel herself sinking into the chair beside her. She couldn't believe what she was hearing; after everything she had been through so far, after almost losing her baby once, they were now suggesting that she lose her baby permanently and all rights she had as a mother. She couldn't allow this to happen.

As she sat in deep thought she only heard the occasional word that filtered through to her, "responsibility", "consideration", "victimised", "cast out", they were just a few, but the phrase that suddenly caught her attention was…

'I will marry her!'

'What?!' The word had fallen from her lips before she could have stopped it and the look of shock and surprise could not be hidden from her face either.

'I said that, I will gladly marry you Miss Hughes; if that's what it takes to protect your honour,' Charlie said quietly, looking at Elsie.

'Be reasonable Carson; whilst you are being admirable, I will give you that, you are not being sensible. Miss Hughes, you must be, what four, nearly five months by now; when your baby arrives people will still know that it was conceived out of wedlock. We will be forced to remove the both of you from our employ,' Robert said, but Elsie had heard quite enough.

'I agree Mr Carson, with Lord Grantham; your sentiments are admirable, but I shall not allow you to throw away your life and career for me. However, Lord and Lady Grantham, I do not wish to sound ungrateful to you both for showing me kindness, but this is my baby and I will not give it up,' she said calmly and forcefully.

'Miss Hughes, think rationally…'

'But I am Milord. I cannot tell you what I have been put through since that night and the fear I have felt since I first started to realise that I was with child, but when I thought I had lost my child, well, I cannot describe the overwhelming feeling I got. I almost lost my baby then, so I certainly will not lose my baby now Milord.'

'But this child is to be our niece or nephew…'

'Milord, I do not wish to sound rude, but this child will be raised as a Hughes and not as a Crawley. I do not wish it to know the reason it was brought into this world. I wish to tender my resignation to you now, with immediate effect Milord. I will leave first thing in the morning, as I'm almost packed. Will there be anything else?' She said with determination.

'Miss Hughes there is no need…'

'But there is Milady; I do not wish to bring shame on you and Lord Grantham, but I cannot give up my child to you. I had long given up hope that something like this could happen to me, but I realise that I have been given a great gift and I cannot give that gift away. However, I cannot go on working the way I am now and if I go away somewhere, I can invent a life, maybe I could be a farmer's widow. Now, if there is nothing further, I wish to go up and finish my packing.' With that, Elsie turned on her heel and walked out of the library, leaving the others to feel gobsmacked at the turn of events. As she walked through the great hall, Mrs Pembroke was still hovering smugly. 'Well Mrs Pembroke, you get your wish after all; I am leaving first thing in the morning and you may have the pleasure of dressing her Ladyship for the time being.'

She then walked as quickly as she dare up to her room, where she finished putting her belongings into her trunk. She wasn't sure if she felt hopeful or nervous, but she just prayed that she had done the right thing and that she hadn't just made a foolish mistake.


End file.
